Uniquely Me Lifebook

“Happiness does not depend on getting other people’s approval – it depends on getting your own approval” from A Thousand Paths to Happiness by David Baird.

Are you your own worst critic? I know I am. The moment I’m given a compliment or praise, I demur and try to downplay it or insist that it was really nothing special. With the encouragement and support of my friends and ‘family of choice’ I’ve learned to silence that critic and accept and approve of myself.

Many of us do the same thing. As soon as we get a compliment or praise, we downplay it or brush it aside. Yet, when we take the time to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we want those compliments and words of praise. We are dissatisfied with our efforts when no one notices what we’ve done.

Taking the time to nurture ourselves helps us to learn to approve of ourselves. Then compliments and praise from others becomes the icing on the cake of our lives.

Because we take time to nurture and approve of ourselves, we no longer need to depend on the approval of other people to validate our sense of self worth. Being happy is no longer an up and down kind of thing. Happiness is ours for the choosing when we love and approve of the self we are becoming.

“Allow your mind to settle – like the muddy water churned up by a boat, it will soon become clear when settled” from A Thousand Paths to Happiness by David Baird.

Next time you’re at a lake, notice how the water can become murky when a high powered boat zooms by too close to shore. All the silt and bits of stuff on the bottom gets churned up and you can no longer see anything clearly. Wait for a while and everything settles back to the bottom and the water clears once more.

Once you see the bottom clearly again, you may spot a bit of treasure that you never notices before. This happens because when things are stirred up they don’t always settle into their old places.

The next time you feel like your thoughts are chasing themselves around in never-ending circles, put on some relaxing music, sit down and focus on the music, allowing your thoughts to settle and your mind to come to rest.

When your thoughts have stopped chasing themselves round and round in circles, problems seem to solve themselves. The constant chasing of an answer, striving to solve problems only serves to churn up the silt of your mind, obscuring the answer that was right there all the time.

Worry acts as a way to churn up the silt of your mind. Once you start worrying about one thing, don’t you find that other things spring up to worry about? This is because worry acts like that power boat zooming in too close to shore over and over again as it races around the lake. No sooner does the murky water begin to settle when the boat comes racing back through again churning everything up once more in its wake.

Becoming aware of your own thought-circles and how they churn up your mind is the first step in mastering the art of allowing your mind to settle and clear. When that happens, you’ll be able to see answers to old problems and perhaps those new, creative ideas to share with others.

What are some things you do to help yourself settle your thoughts?